Stop comparing yourself to others

Stop comparing yourself to others How to stop comparing yourself to others? What a great question. Because everybody struggles with comparison from time to time  -in fact, it’s one of the most common daily habits that human possess. We compare almost everything, the relationships we have, the cloth we wear, our homes and even or online/social media presence
(just to name a few). But it’s important that we know who we are and that we appreciate what we have and do. Amy Poehler once said: The earlier you learn that you should focus on what you have, and not obsess about what you don’t have, the happier you will be.  And I couldn’t agree more, comparison makes you:  

  • feel less valuable or good
  • unhappy with what you have
  • And is a total waste of time!

 Stop comparing yourself to others Stop comparing yourself to others

But how to stop comparing yourself to others

Here are some tips:

 Be happy for others
– life is not a competition

Instead of being jealous or comparative over somebody else’s success, be happy for the person and feel inspired by their achievement.
I find it especially helpful to build up a relationship with like-minded people and root for their success. Building a supporting tribe or girl gang is so powerful and uplifting.


So keep in mind: being excited about the win of others is an amazing thing, that what keeps you away from feeling bitter and help’s you build wonderful relationships with fellow girl bosses.


Stop self- compassion

Don’t you ever feel sorry for yourself! When thoughts like “why can’t I have that” or “my work isn’t as good or important as her/his” kick in, stay focused. Self-compassion leads you nowhere! You have to work for what you want, always. Because that’s what everybody is doing. Treat yourself with kindness! It’s totally normal that you’re not happy and strong every day (because you’re human) but by comparing yourself to somebody else, who maybe is in the middle of something and your just at the beginning, doesn’t bring you closer to your goals.

Be as you wish to seem

This is my mantra. I live after these six little words. They remind me to go after the life I want to live, hustle and behave the way I want to be seen.
The only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday! I always try to be a better, more happy and optimistic person as I was the day before.


Unplug from time to time

Nowadays most of us are constantly connected to social media. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE SOCIAL MEDIA. It’s a wonderful, fun world, where you can find true friends, get inspired and enjoy the creativity and love that is shared. But it isn’t 100% the real world. Especially on social media (like Instagram and Pinterest) we share the perfect moments. So unplug from time to time and enjoy some quality time to reload your batteries.  Next week I’ll upload a post on how to break your digital habits. So stay tuned for that.

I hope you have an amazing week and that you stop comparing yourself to others.
Because you’re awesome just the way you are!

Much love, Ilka x






  1. 11. June 2017 / 22:53

    And this is why I chose to start a new blog series, beginning in July. I want to uplift the ladies around me. Everyone has their strengths, and we all work so much better together! Love this post. Would love to extend an invite for you to submit your personal story to my series Grit & Grace: a series about strong, beautiful, &a passionate women. Details on my blog 🙂

    XO, LYNN |

    • Ilka
      12. June 2017 / 05:20

      Thank you so much, Lynn. Your new blog series sounds great, love the idea and I’ll definitely check it out 🙂
      Much love xx

  2. 11. June 2017 / 19:19

    Love this post. I so needed this advice today! I completely agree about unplugging from social media every now and again!

    • Ilka
      11. June 2017 / 19:33

      Thank you so much, Clair. I’m happy you find it helpful 🙂
      Yes, I try to take every Sunday a little break from Social Media and focus more on what really important is xx

  3. 19. April 2017 / 11:55

    This is very encouraging post. I think most times we see other people’s successes as if they will dampen our especially as ladies. But this was such a beautiful post.

    • Ilka
      19. April 2017 / 12:05

      Thank you 🙂 I’m glad you stopped by and enjoyed the post. You’re absolutely right, but comparing doesn’t make us better it just drives us away from happiness xx

  4. Kelly
    5. April 2017 / 08:34

    Love it. Nobody wins when your comparing your self to others. They have led different lives and made different decisions.

    • Ilka
      6. April 2017 / 06:45

      I’m glad you like it, Kelly xx

  5. 25. March 2017 / 23:36

    This is a great reminder. It’s so hard not to compare myself to others, especially with social media as a constant reminder.

    • Ilka
      6. April 2017 / 06:45

      Thank you, Amy. I’m happy you like the post 🙂 xx

  6. 18. March 2017 / 02:13

    Ilka, I love this so much! Especially where you speak of how we should praise others’ successes- we should! It’s easy to get down on ourselves when things aren’t going the way we hope, but staying positive makes all the difference. Everyone has their time to shine! Thanks for the great post!

    • Ilka
      18. March 2017 / 07:26

      Thank’s, Jill. 🙂 You’re right! We all have our time and we all can do great! And when we support each other amazing things happen!!
      I’m happy you agree, much love xx

  7. 17. March 2017 / 17:31

    I try my best to teach my kids that comparison is the killer of joy. The moment you start comparing yourself to anyone, joy escapes… and that is NO good. Loved reading this… glad to know you are practicing self care as much as I’m trying to teach myself and kids about it.

    • Ilka
      18. March 2017 / 07:27

      That is such a beautiful thing, Karina! I’m happy you teach your kids such important topics.
      Oh yes, I love taking care of myself! It’s the most important thing for me <3
      Much love, Ilka x

  8. 17. March 2017 / 03:54

    I feel like when you compare yourself to others you are just promoting self-hatred. I mean, I really dog myself when I’m not doing as well as someone else. It’s hard to not do it though.

    • Ilka
      17. March 2017 / 07:44

      ABSOLUTELY! But we have to learn to love ourself and respect others. xxx

  9. Courtney b
    16. March 2017 / 23:49

    This is so cute and such a tough lesson to learn!

    • Ilka
      17. March 2017 / 07:43

      I’m happy you like it and agree 🙂 xxx

  10. 16. March 2017 / 18:50

    I really love your honest and detailed post! It’s so true that we spend so much time focusing on what we don’t have and end up feeling dissatisfied (rather than focusing on what we do have). I’ve been thinking of starting a gratitude book one of these days.

    • Ilka
      17. March 2017 / 07:42

      Yes. That’s what I thought. It’s great when you get motivated by others, but do your own thing! 🙂 Much love xx

    • Ilka
      17. March 2017 / 07:41

      It really is, Vicki. I’m glad you find it helpful. Much love, Ilka x

  11. 15. March 2017 / 17:35

    Love this post, I’m awful with comparisons and looking to others for markers to compare against. I’ve never thought about self-compassion being a major issue either but now I totally see where you’re coming from. Maybe I should give up pinterest every now and again!
    Kate ||

    • Ilka
      15. March 2017 / 17:50

      Awww, thank you, Kate. I’m happy you enjoyed the post! 🙂 You’re so right, I used to compare myself all the time when I was younger… Oh no, don’t give up Pinterest, haha. Pinterest is amazing for inspiration <3 (I'm obsessed) But unplugging from time to time is a good way.
      Have a lovely day, Much love Ilka x

    • Ilka
      15. March 2017 / 17:48

      You’re right, Anne. It can be really hard sometimes. That’s why we all need to support each other 🙂
      I’m happy you like the post. Much love, Ilka x

  12. 15. March 2017 / 12:46

    I love this post! Mostly, because as a blogger that’s trying to make a career out of her blog, it’s tough to not compare myself to other bloggers that are further than me. This post is so motivating! I love it. 🙂

    • Ilka
      15. March 2017 / 15:22

      Oh, thank you so much, Jackline. I know exactly how you feel. But you’re doing great!! Your blog is so pretty and I really like your content. Keep the good work going <3
      Have an amazing day and always stay in your magic xxxx

  13. 15. March 2017 / 12:44

    I notice this happening alot it can be hard but definitely not worth it. I have noticed it is not worth it and that I need to push through it.

    • Ilka
      15. March 2017 / 12:46

      So true, Susie. Just stay in your magic and be happy for others. We creatives need to support each other <3
      Much love, Ilka. x

  14. 14. March 2017 / 20:56

    Such an important topic! Thank you for making it a blog post. It happens to the best of us and it brings us nothing but unhappiness. 🙂

    • Ilka
      15. March 2017 / 07:52

      I’m happy you agree and that you enjoyed the blog post, Erica.
      Instead of being hateful and jealous, let us all support each other and concentrate on our own accomplishments.

      Much love Ilka x

  15. 14. March 2017 / 08:13

    I stopped comparing myself with others and being satisfied with what I have because I know my worth. I love the girl gang top, the colour fits perfectly.

    • Ilka
      14. March 2017 / 08:31

      That’s AMAZING! So proud of you. 🙂 You’re worth whatever you believe you deserve
      Haha, it’s my new favorite top (from Review) xxxx

  16. 14. March 2017 / 06:40

    I beat myself up all the time in terms of being a mum, comparing myself to other mums that seem perfect, like they just stepped out of a fashion magazine crossed with a guide to mothering book! I even worry about blogging, is my blog as good as others, will it look as good, content is as good. It’s an endless battle that I need to stop!! Great post thanks for sharing it and giving me some top tips!

    • Ilka
      14. March 2017 / 08:29

      Oh no, you’re such a wonderful person and an amazing mummy!! Don’t stress out over somebody else. Maybe they seem like they can do everything so easy, but that’s why they do it for a longer time, are professionals or have other weakenings.
      And your blog looks stunning! Good job xxxxx

  17. 14. March 2017 / 01:38

    This is such a good read! It’s always nice to come across these small reminders! This world is quite the competitive place, so to take a step back and take in these “pep talks” (as I like to call them for myself), it’s always a good reminder that we should love and encourage one another. Filling this world with love is exactly what it needs most and comparing ourselves is only going to holding us back more when trying to do so.


    • Ilka
      14. March 2017 / 08:26

      Thank you so much, Kayli. I’m happy you like the post and find it ‘helpful’
      Knowing my content help’s others makes me so happy ❤️
      Much love xxx

  18. 13. March 2017 / 20:29

    Everyday I said to myself I want to do things differently that make us unique and different and I don’t compare myself no one except my self ❤

    • Ilka
      14. March 2017 / 08:25

      That’s great. Be the best version of yourself!! xx

  19. April K.
    13. March 2017 / 18:53

    I definitely think the life comparison has increased from social media. 10 years ago, we didn’t know what others were doing unless we spoke to them lol. This is such a great post.

    • Ilka
      14. March 2017 / 08:24

      I agree! Glad you enjoyed the post
      Much love, xxx

  20. 13. March 2017 / 18:35

    Love this. I find the best way to stop comparison-itis is, like you say, to disconnect from social media where sometimes it seems that everyone is celebrating their successes while we are unable to recognize our own. 🙂

    • Ilka
      17. March 2017 / 09:43

      Thank you, Christina. I’m happy you agree, it’s such an important topic to me. 🙂
      Much love xx

  21. Natasha Botkin
    13. March 2017 / 17:12

    So, very true! Be your best you. Xoxo

    • Ilka
      14. March 2017 / 08:23

      Amen, Natasha <3

  22. 13. March 2017 / 15:43

    Love, love, love this so much, Ilka! Definitely a message that I needed to read and remind myself of as we start a new week!

    • Ilka
      13. March 2017 / 16:49

      Thank you, Summer. I’m happy you enjoy the post. I thought it’s a great topic for the fresh week 🙂
      Much love xx

  23. Whit Devereaux
    13. March 2017 / 14:38

    You’re right, unplugging from time to time is helpful.

    • Ilka
      13. March 2017 / 16:48

      It really is, isn’t it 🙂 I’m glad you agree xx

  24. 13. March 2017 / 13:13

    You’re right. It’s something that is so hard to do sometimes but you have a great point.

    • Ilka
      13. March 2017 / 13:35

      Thank you, Bobbi. It really is hard, sometimes.
      But when you focus on yourself and your work, and especially when you feel happy for the success of others. You enjoy your journey so much more.
      Much love, Ilka x

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